Tagged: Sayings

“Nobody gives a f*€k”

So it turns out I survived my birthday party. The speeches were fantastic and were only a little embarrassing in the grand scheme of things. One thing I did take away from a part of the speech is that it is quite likely that Potty Mouth has very little appeal to my audience (the quote in the post title framing a sentiment of one particular speechmaker).

So am I going to stop posting? Nah. This stuff might be mindless garbage that practically no one’s interested in, but it’s probably the most productive thing I can do on the dunny. And if just one person reads a post everyday, I know I’m making a difference in some sort of insignificant and really weird way.

A strange man once wrote: “Poo often and post plenty”. That man was me.


All or Muffin

I’m a real fan of the saying “don’t knock it before you’ve tried it”. There’s few situations where it doesn’t work, like this one:

Herp: Derp, no! Why are you raping that dude?!
Derp: Hey, hold on a sec there! Don’t knock it before you’ve tried it!

In the above dialogue, whipping out the saying is probably frowned upon by many and let’s face it: is that particular dialogue ever going to occur? No. I’m talking about the saying in relation to defending my breakfast choices.

Too many people have quizzed me on my spread combination of peanut butter and vegemite on my morning muffins. But who’s to say that someone who’s never tasted this heavenly duo wouldn’t find it equally if not more satisfying than I do if they’d only try it? C’mon people, have a go of some P.B. and V.!

Silly Hair, Silly Sayings

My hair looks pretty bad. In other news, I can hear my ex-girlfriend and her boyfriend in the shower next to me. Suppressing the lolz.

Anyway, getting back to the hair: basically I’ve gone Travis Bickle in ‘Taxi Driver’. It was worse a few hours earlier; the Mohawk was longer and there were phalluses on either side of my head. Ripper.

What’s the deal with the saying ‘pot calling the kettle black’? It just hasn’t translated well to the modern era. Pots and kettles often aren’t black. It should be ‘pot calling the kettle stainless steel’. Or just ditch it – what if I want a purple kettle? The saying promotes uniformity and I don’t like it.