Category: Crazy Times

Smelly Fingertips

That song about “having nothing to hide” is playing somewhere. What a great song. I could sit here all night and listen to it… just key changed – fantastic.

I think all this humidity has fried my brain.

I filmed some stuff at a cemetery today. I thought we’d get told off but we didn’t.

A friend bought me some Doritos, Tiny Teddies, chocolate and a big bottle of lemon, lime and bitters. Lucky me.

Another friend played the recorder and it sounded a bit like this.

The Others take you, George R.R. Martin!

Why did I read that A Storm of Swords chapter?

Ever since I audibly gasped on the Marshall-bound train this morning, I’ve been thinking about what is probably the most intense chapter I’ve read from George R.R. Martin’s A Song of Ice and Fire series to date. At Les Mis rehearsal I couldn’t concentrate, watching the ever-so-overrated The Walking Dead I couldn’t concentrate, and doing my two assignments due tomorrow I could not concentrate.

Mr. Martin, you make a damn fine novel but boy do you know how to disrupt my day, ser.

Snakes on a Loo

There’s a live moth on the floor.

Having animals crawling round the cubicle is just the worst. But it doesn’t come to close to my snake fear. From time to time, I get the notion that a snake is going to slither through the drain and into the toilet bowl, waiting to strike out at… well, I don’t need to explain myself any more than that.

It’s likely never to happen but just imagine if it did. Oh God, the moth’s moving, I’m out of here.

The 1st Biannual Potty Mouth Competition

Potty Mouth is coming up on its sixth month anniversary in about a fortnight. To commemorate this, ten lucky readers will receive a limited edition poop-in-a-box, fresh from the dunny. To enter the competition, send your name, address and phone number to trussell91@hotmail.com and write an answer to the following question in 25 words or less:

If a hyena and a poop fought one another, who would win and why?

Good luck!

DISCLAIMER: Winners will not actually receive poops. I don’t have a good supply of boxes and I don’t know if poops can handle traveling to distant locations. Sorry.

Exploding Muscles

Can you lose a leg to a corked quad muscle?

My high school P.E. teacher once told me an elite athlete friend of his got hit so hard on the arm by a ball once that his tricep exploded. Never to be unexploded again. Imagine having no tricep. Despite having no tricep, the man continued to have his arm. Nice.

But I feel a exploded quad is something you can’t get away with. My quad is just corked, thank goodness, but if it exploded one day, would the leg have to go with it? I just can’t see someone with a missing quadricep walking around without his dead leg getting in the way of most activities. I shudder to think of this.