Tagged: Family

Party Poopers

In the whole time I’ve been blogging on Potty Mouth, my phone’s never been rung whilst on the loo. I think that’s pretty amazing.

Actually, the one time the phone did ring was when I used my girlfriend’s. How is it that the one time I use her phone, it gets rung but mine doesn’t? It’s as if my friends and family know I’ve got important blogging matters to attend to.

Speaking of blogging matters, there are some awful blogs out there. My friends and I have just spent the past half hour flabbergasted by how unoriginal and underwhelming one particular blogger’s efforts were. I know that my blog would leave a lot to be desired in the minds of many but at least I try to be a little unpredictable and more three-dimensional. Sheesh.


An Apology

At the advice given by my brother, I’ve pulled the latest Two Jay video off YouTube. Though I didn’t see it at the time, the video’s content was perverse and offensive and didn’t get at what I want the series to be about and for that, I am truly sorry.

Though I don’t say much in the video, editing the material together and posting it online makes me wholly complicit in allowing the pretty controversial material from getting out from under closed doors. And that’s just it: the stuff spoken about in the video should be kept far more private. I’m not saying that what was said in the video was totally abhorrent and rarely spoken of – people of our demographic are kidding themselves if they don’t think this kind of nonsensical banter isn’t a staple in the conversations between many members of our generation – but that doesn’t mean it negates the potential to offend certain people.

Perhaps more alarming than anything else is that none of the people who live at college alerted me of the video’s offensive nature. In the college bubble, controversial themes tend to pervade many aspects of our everyday lives and it’s no surprise that some people have become emotionally desensitised by this. Nonetheless, I do not fling blame at these people; the editing and distribution of the video was my doing and if there is any one person whose actions are to be scrutinised, look no further than yours truly.

I imagine some who read this might think I’ve reacted too irrationally to my brother’s criticism; that I’ve dramatised circumstances (I will concede there are far worse and more explicitly offensive videos out there to be seen) but I don’t want to make anyone feel marginalised by a fun little series I decided to make in my college years. Sure, Two Jay has raised eyebrows in the past, but ‘Hypothetical’ brought a different (and far less desirable) mood to the series. It’s time to get back to its clean(ish) fun roots.

Thank Adam, for keeping me grounded.

100 Posts!

I think it’s quite an achievement to have smashed out a blog post for every single time that I’ve sat on the dunny. There were times when I almost packed it in, but willpower prevailed and who knows how many more posts are yet to come (they’ll probably stop when a prospective employer begins poking around my online identity).

No suggestions came through for a 100th post special edition, so I’ve just now come up with a spontaneous theme to feature in every 100th post: I will reveal a fairly hidden secret about myself.

Secret #1: I once bought Yu-Gi-Oh cards against mum’s will and she confiscated them BUT I kept some hidden from her. God, I’m loose.

Sorry, mum.

Beginner’s Luck

Last night, for the first time ever, I gambled at the casino. It’s probably 3 years overdue but I finally tried my luck with a $100 limit… to much success.

I started off the night with some Blackjack, lost a bit and broke even by the time I decided I’d try my hand at pretty much the only thing the house can’t win at: poker.

I’ve played poker with my eldest brother for some years now so this was definitely something I felt safer with… until I was $50 down some hours later. Cue a couple of big hands and I finished up $73 up! My secret: just bided my time waiting for a sure thing… though nothing’s ever really sure when you gamble. It was a great night and although I made money, I’m definitely not going to start making a habit out of it.


Tonight is my 21st birthday party. To be completely honest, I’m absolutely terrified. I’m not terrified that people won’t have a good time, I’m not terrified that the party will end in some tragedy due to a rogue marquee. I am terrified because I must endure the obligatory 21st birthday party speeches.

As this blog makes pretty clear, I’m a fairly open guy and this translates to pretty much all aspects of my life. I’m not afraid to be downright silly at times because I don’t get too phased by what others think of me.

But gees, do my friends have some dirt on me.

There’s some things you don’t want your parents to hear/see. I’m pretty sure they know just about every embarrassing detail of my life, but I’m willing to bet I’ve overlooked some major incident that will rear its ugly head come nightfall. If I never post again, it’s because I’m dead. My mum killed me.

Queen’s, for Sure

Yesterday marked one of the most epic days in my life. Queen’s College won the intercollegiate footy Grand Final and the ground exploded. Queeners swarmed the field and formed one of the largest mosh pits I’d witnessed in recent years. People who had had little to do with each other in the past embraced one another and there were photos and videos taken, songs sung, days made.

And then the night came.

Everyone was ecstatic. Drinks flowed as the victors drank from the premiership cup and it all felt too unreal. It was one of the best days of my life and I had just been a spectator. But I think I and everyone else who barracked for Queens’ victory had been so much more than that. Everyone was so proud of their friends and family and the feeling of camaraderie was unbelievably strong. I can mark that final siren as being one of the top five best moments of my life.

Facial Hair Fiasco

Here are some problems I experience due to the recent manifestation of hair on my face:

• My girlfriend finds me less attractive. Still getting kisses though. Nice.

• Parts of my face get unnecessarily hot and sweaty.

• My mother doesn’t love me.

• My moustache curls down on my lip, posing two problems:
– the hairs can prick my lip and induce pimples.
– I sort of look like Theon Greyjoy who, according to the womens, is not an attractive man.