Toilet Habits: A Brief History

The title of this post could definitely mislead a few. The toilet habits I refer to are those that occupy my time whilst on the loo. For most, this might be reading newspapers or the posters on the toilet door or texting a mate (calling them if you’ve got little respect for them) or simply nothing at all – maybe you just want to get out of there. Not me. Not then, not now, not ever.

Ever since I can remember, I can associate many a toilet trip with video games. Early on, I’d always have a gaming manual (the 20 or so page booklet that came with the game) with me at the loo. I must have understood this as being socially unacceptable because I distinctly remember stuffing the ‘Donkey Kong 64’ booklet down my pants on my way to the toilet so that my parents didn’t know about my reading material. Needless to say, the awkward waddle probably gave it away.

As I got older, reading about video games wasn’t enough; I had to play them. Many an hour playing ‘Pokemon’ was spent on that cold, white disc of a seat (apparently a bed wasn’t more comfortable?) and mum would promptly notice my absence.

“Haven’t drowned in there?” she’d ask.

“No” I’d reply. “I’m just beating the Celadon City gym leader.”

Nowadays, it’s ‘Plants vs. Zombies’ or some other iPhone app. I’m not alone in this though: I heard someone in this very cubicle playing ‘Temple Run’ the other day.

Toilet Tip #1: Never play iPhone games on the toilet with the sound on. It’s almost as awkward as hearing the ‘Angry Birds’ theme blasting on a tram.

I hope this post’s made something clearer: I created this blog so I could use my time more effectively. Anywho, my bum’s numb. See ya.

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